Observer vs. Participant

This week a friend of mine came to town to visit, so we decided to head down to one of the PIFA events at the Kimmel Center. It was such an incredibly beautiful day. We walked by countless tulips, hyacinths, and daisies, but best of all the pear and cherry trees were all in bloom. The cherry trees are starting to lose their petals and are making these piles of pink all over the sidewalks. As we were walking we saw a bunch of teens skateboarding and picking up these piles of pink petals and throwing them at each other like snowballs. There were also several of the once abandoned and overgrown lots that have been reclaimed by nonprofits in the area. Those once trash filled lots are now mowed and filled with community gardens. It was all a beautiful picture of new life and I'll be honest in saying it came as a shock. I didn't even realize it was happening, but I think at some point in the last few months I'd lost some hope. It was as if all of the life happening around me, and all of the reclaimed spaces was a much-needed reminder that God is always in the process of redeeming his people and his cities regardless of what I'm up to.

I pondered this for a while, while I went to the storytelling event with my friend. Almost every story shared had to do with a time when that person felt excluded from a group that they felt that they should be included in. Walking home from the theater we walked down Broad Street, or “The Avenue of the Arts.” It's a beautiful place to be at night because Just in front of you is City Hall and the tall buildings on either side of the street are lighted with colored lights that shine upwards and illuminate the outside of the whole building. It's like walking down a colorful corridor that is so full of life. I remember driving down Broad Street as a kid and loving it. I couldn't stop looking out the windows and wondering what was happening on those lively streets. So then it dawned on me, I'm not looking at Philly from behind the windows of a car anymore. This is my home now and I get to participate in all that's happening on the busy streets. Not only do I get to participate, I am in the process of participating.

So then I thought about this; how often do we exclude ourselves? How many times to we look at a group of people and think of all the reasons why they are not like us, or why we don't fit in with them, when really we're already part of "them?" I think far to often it is easy to observe and forget that we are currently playing a role whether we are aware of it or not. My actions, everything I do or say, as an impact on the way that others will respond around me. I participated in an acting seminar once as a middle school student and one of the tidbits that stuck with me was that acting is only 10% action and 90% reaction, just like life. My environment has an impact on me, but I also have an impact on my environment. It's made me take a more serious look at myself and ask the question, how often am I considering myself an observer and not seeing myself as the participant that I am? Another thing that stood out to me is that I am a participant whether I am conscious of it or not and whether I'm pleased with my participation. It's easy for me to start a new initiative or go out and serve in the city and see the ways that I am participating, but what do I do with the times when I'm just walking down the street, or just sitting on my porch?

I guess I have to admit that I'm not too proud of my participation grade lately. I let my health take me out of the picture. I've let life happen around me without taking part in a meaningful way. I know that God hasn't called me to do much, but he's definitely called me to prayer. He's definitely called me to love my neighbors and called me to seek Him in this city. I've been so self focused that I haven't done much of anything. As you pray for Philly this week it would be great if you could pray against discouragement, but also give thanks for the things that God is already doing here. A number of groups are actively trying to reclaim abandoned city space for good. It's encouraging to see the ways that so many people are moving to the city with hope for restoration whether they are Christians or not. That vision has encouraged me and pulled me out of my funk, so I know it's possible that hope is happening for others as well.